Breakspear Inc.

So what’s this well worn Shakespearean quote got to do with (Breakspear) holding a sunflowered umbrella at an anti war rally in London?

Plenty as I’m actively trying to put into practice what the Grand Old Bard encouraged us “To be or not to be.” A deeply searching question, that’s underpinned my own story, from ex Christian Zionist, to where I find myself today, endeavouring to follow the nonviolent invitation offered by Jesus the iconic “Prince of Peace”.

Which has meant packing a long term rucksack for the slow soul-searching trek, away from the octopus like grip of nationalism. It’s been quite an ongoing journey, involving lots of tearful face to face—staring into the rearview mirror of my past mistakes—before finally receiving Creator’s, healing release.

One such creative flow began to gurgle to the surface during the month of April 2024, shortly after finding myself in a very dark emotionally challenging place. I’m sure I’m not alone in experiencing such negative thoughts. So many individuals around the globe are also carrying similar forms of downheartedness in their spirit, due to the avalanche of bad news coming out of the Middle East. I mean who in their right mind can blithely accept the ongoing carnage happening in G💔ZA or any other war torn part of our broken world as normal? Tragically, for those suffering PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in war zones, the oppression is never post.

This is why I cannot accept any of these wars as the new norm. Why? Because it will eventually make me sick to death; especially as this ‘Holyland’ neck of the biblical woods had been my spiritual playground for over two decades—where I had not just sojourned, but breathed as an artist. Yes, in that otherworldly dreamscape, I thought I had made friends on both sides of the ugly divide… yet now I’m being asked to pick a side, but which is the right side in all this wrong?

Somehow I had to expel the exhausting darkness from my soul—and let Creator’s light in. So I began searching around our home for raw materials that would aid me on this healing journey. The first item in this cathartic process appeared when I spied a black umbrella, dormantly resting in of all places…an umbrella stand. Mmmm… I thought that holds promise! So I opened it and instantly began to remember a large white cotton sheet, splattered with a bloody red paint concoction, a theatrical prop I’d previously used in one of our film projects to visually depict Jesus, pouring out his life blood to save mankind. After a long search I finally found it buried in the attic, it was just what I needed. So I tore it up into six foot long by seven inch-wide bandages, then tied the bloodied bandages in a decorative crisscrossed pattern over the old black umbrella … took a few steps back and thought, “Yeah, they look pretty good together”.

So, why did I do that?

Well at first I wasn’t completely sure, apart from the fact it had something to do with all the dead and dying individuals across the Middle East, especially all those tiny shrouded bodies of children and babies being buried in G💔ZA. Whilst my creation looked arty, I knew it wasn’t finished, neither was my misery. 

The following day was Thursday – the day our local peace vigil gather at the roundabout in Rawtenstall, Lancashire, but I just couldn’t face going; not after watching hours and hours of live-streamed violence meted out upon the Palestinian people, topped off by vile online comments. The inner turmoil I was feeling was just too much to bear, I had to do something else. That’s when I felt drawn to go to St. Peter’s Anglican church (just around the corner from where I live) as I know they are usually open for quiet prayer on a Thursday afternoon. I entered the empty church building, sat down and began to pray, quietly asking our Creator if he could somehow intervene in man’s inhumanity. Twenty minutes or so later I suddenly remembered the black umbrella strewn with bloodied bandages. This was a vivid kind of minds-eye-type-of-a-picture in which I could see myself holding the black umbrella above my head. As soon as I saw it, it looked as if — I was holding the darkness of death over me! 

The sight of this deeply disturbing image absolutely freaked me into a silent scream —“Oh Lord, I don’t want to hold death over me!!!!” After several bewildering moments of pensive reflection, the dread-filled picture slowly morphed into something light emitting … as beautiful bright yellow sunflowers began to sprout up all over the black and bloodied bandaged umbrella. The appearance of these happy blooms, instantly put a smile on my face, even more so when I heard an unspoken voice reverberate in my spirit.

 “You need to find a different picture… beauty for ashes … hope instead of despair”

In a flash I found myself praying for” life over death”, even in the midst of genocidal horror, our prayers need to take us beyond the face of the bloodbath or else we may as well die too. As Anni (my other-better-half) is constantly reminding me “Our job is to do the possible and leave the impossible to the Lord”.

The following day I went shopping for sunflowers and the rest is umbrella history.

Just one last under-the-berella caveat to wrap things up. I’d been so busy working on the outside of this creative project, that I had missed what was serendipitously printed on the inside — a panoramic view of the Westminster skyline. Little did I know, five weeks later I would receive an invitation to travel 220 miles (to the Houses of Parliament in London) to attend an anti-war rally. 

And yes I did carry my sun-flowered-umbrella, amongst the thousands of fellow human beings, crying out with one voice for the gagged and oppressed people of Palestine who have been silenced by so many warmongering arms salesmen, including our own government.

The picture at the top of this blog was taken in Whitehall, with yours truly holding the unmissable sunflower umbrella, complete with purposely missed-phrased sign “Blessed are the Peace Makes.” Coz, this is what the creative followers of Christ are supposed to do, re—present His living word as a glitch to mess with the business as usual system of our day. I’ve changed the sign many times, but the sunflower theme remains a constant companion.

I’m still amazed how this blooming, over-the-top, portable shelter from the storm of war—became such a disarming attraction. Drawing scores of my fellow humanitarian players to stop me and ask if they could snap their happy smiling selfies next to it … then ask, “who made it and what does it mean?”.

I can only conclude that these wannabe (Billy the Bard) players (young and old) are catching a similar glimpse of what I caught that afternoon when I prayed for peace. Because it was and still is something unexpectedly light-emittingly beautiful … an overwhelming beauty that speaks of a higher hope far away from the ashes of death and destruction …a beauty that requires lots of….

That’s right, a lot of yucky Fertiliser (a.k.a. ashes) no matter how unsightly and smelly it sounds … it’s the only thing that will make this garden grow. Because, hidden within this mucky-natural cycle of decay, hides a loving supernatural key. That if wisely used, will help us prepare our peace-bringer-rucksacks to travel the pathway towards peace and reconciliation with our enemies. I don’t fully understand how it all works, but I’m dazzled by Creators invitation to find out!

A year and half after the above encounter, I learned a new phrase attributed to the Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky “Beauty will save the world”. Oh don’t you just love it! When random conformations visit you from those who’ve gone before…encouraging us to keep on doing the good stuff, because future generations are waiting for our beautiful waymarkers!

🌻LIFE over DEATH☂️

After a soggy Anti-War rally beginning, the sunshine rested in Trafalgar Square, November 29/2025

🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️Setting every captive FREE 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️

Breakspear is also available on Substack, click HERE to view his Stack!